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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles feels he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his grandiose moments often turn “detached from reality”, he explains. You’re riding high and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I’m better than them … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are usually coming after a “emotional downturn”, during which he feels deeply emotional and self-conscious about his actions, making him particularly vulnerable to criticism from others. He first suspected he might have NPD after researching his symptoms through digital sources – and was later diagnosed by a professional. But, he questions he would have agreed with the assessment without having already reached that realization personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – particularly if they feel feelings of superiority. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve built up. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

While people have been identified with narcissism for more than a century, definitions vary what the term implies the label. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” explains a leading researcher, who believes the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he notes many people hide it, as there is so much stigma associated with the disorder. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a strategy of using people to seek admiration through things like pursuing power,” the expert says. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in NPD Presentation

While up to 75% of people found to have narcissistic personality disorder are males, research suggests this statistic does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that narcissism in women is frequently manifests in the covert form, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be more socially permissible, as with everything in society,” says an individual who discusses her dual diagnosis on social media. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

Personal Struggles

It’s hard for me with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to self-protection or I completely shut down.” Despite having this behavior – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been trying to overcome it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she aims to avoid falling into the damaging patterns of her previous life. My past relationships were toxic to my partners during adolescence,” she states. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she notes she and her significant other “maintain an agreement where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if I say something manipulative, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mostly in the care of her father and says she lacked healthy examples in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding continuously what is and is not appropriate to say during a fight because I never had that growing up,” she says. Every insult was fair game when my family members were belittling me when I was growing up.”

Origins of Narcissistic Traits

Personality disorders tend to be connected with difficulties as a child. Genetics play a role,” notes a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “linked to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to cope in formative years”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting specific standards. They then “continue to use those same mechanisms as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The individual says when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “good enough”.

In adulthood, none of his relationships lasted. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He didn’t think forming deep connections, until he met his current partner of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, in a comparable situation, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “highly empathetic of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he says – it was actually she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Following an appointment to his doctor, an assessment was arranged to a clinical psychologist for an assessment and was told his diagnosis. He has been put forward for talking therapy on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the primary approach that has been proven effective NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the patient queue for an extended period: It was indicated it is expected around maybe February or March next year.”

He has shared with a few individuals about his mental health status, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has come to terms with it. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he comments. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are looking for support for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the disorder. But the growth of NPD content creators and the development of online support communities indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number